Might As Well Face It You're Addicted To Video Games.

It started, I think, in '79 or '80. I remember going to restaurant and seeing it in the middle of room. There in all its glory - a table top version on Pac-man. It might've been Ms. Pac-man. i just knew right then that the world has changed. At that age, there was one other thing that has impacted my life (not including school, family, and church), that was Star Wars, but, that's a different story. No, a little one slice eaten pizza shaped "thing" was eating dots while being chased by multi-colored ghosts. Then, like magic, the circle thing ate a big dot and the ghosts turn blue and preceded to eaten. I must've stared at this thing for what seemed like an eternity. Video games had come into my life. Over the next couple of years, I would see arcade machines. i wanted to play them, but quarters at that moment would be far and few between. The mall, bowling alleys, and of course, roller rinks would have these things, bleeping, buzzing, and flashing, constantly begging for your money. I became entranced with one in particular - Crystal Castles. If I had the space and the money this arcade classic would be in my home. You used a track ball to move a little bear to collect gems. Of course, monsters, moving trees, bee swarms, and a witch were out to kill you in all sorts of evil ways. The parents, thinking what could it hurt, bought something for us in the mid '80s. The Atari 2600 was the first system we ever owned. We had Moon Patrol, Crystal Castles (minus the track ball), Millipede, Asteriods, Ms. Pac-man and Choplifter. Lo, the house then changed. No longer quiet and peaceful in our home. War had started. My younger brother (don't worry I still love him dearly) and I erupted in fights over the Atari. I want to play, you played too long, give it, stupid idiot, why'd you kill me, and the final MOMMM!!! would echo down the street where we lived. I look back now, at all those days when the parents would unplug the system and hide it for the week as punishment. Sad thing is, I can't seem to remember what happened to that system. With all things, change is inevitable. The kid up the street got an Atari 7800. Then, in seventh grade, I was invited to spend the night at my friend's house. Gabe's house was incredibly cool. In his room, (which i thought was ten times bigger than my living room) sat a TV and a Nintendo Entertainment System. I played Super Mario Bros. 2 til 2am. i couldn't sleep. i was possessed. Nintendo influenced my life then on out. After a while, I bought Gabe's system when he got a Sega system. i played with a blue hedgehog with that one. Soon the video game systems became innumerable. Super NES, Genesis, Turbografix 16, neo-geo. After graduation,i got a Super NES and hooked up with Mario again. About '97 Nintendo came out with a system called the Virtual Boy. i waited a couple months and got one for $25. Games were $5. Then I got a Sony Playstation (1, boys and girls). In '99, I went to Los Angeles to visit Gabe and came home with a Gameboy Color. My brother has a Nintendo 64, which I still want from him as soon as possible. I bought a Nintendo Gamecube next. I still cuss at it from time to time. Finally, right after our wedding, I bought a Nintendo DS. I loved it. I bought a game called Nintendogs. Big mistake. I had to by the wife a DS also or I would've lost mine. This has led her to playing video games. I look back now at the past, and ponder, will my child enjoy them or shun them? Will this addiction that I and now my wife share latch onto the next generation of Schaeffer? Only time will tell. Meanwhile, I'm going to play some Tetris for the DS. This weeks pictures were taken at the Nintendo store in New York. I will be going back there very soon. Catch you on the flipside. Next Time: Act Your Age, Not You're Shoe Size!! (or it's my birthday.... LEAVE ME ALONE!!)

What Is Going On Here?

I was going to talk about my family today. I've decided to put off that little discussion for now. Life has been good lately. The cats are still ruling the household. The wife and I have good jobs. I like mine (for time to time) and she likes hers. But, there is ONE PROBLEM. I don't see my wife as much anymore. I know, she works a lot. During the week, 9 to 5, sometimes 12 to 8:30. Boy, I miss her.... and her cooking. That the biggest loss right now. Snuggle time is still there and the how was your day, dear time is there, too. I'm not upset at her job either. They treat her fairly, but give her too much a one time. By the time she gets home, she's too tired to cook one of her great meals she's known for. I'm probably stretching it. She's still the most beautiful woman I know and I love her unconditionally.

Okay, short one this week. Catch you on the flip side. Next Time: You Might As Well Face It, You're Addicting to Video Games.

Click! "That Was Easy!"

When I was dating my wife,she worked at a local music theater in the box office. I guess she was having fun. I mean, some of the co-workers were (and still are) a real pleasure to work with. Plus they liked me. Remember guys, if your girlfriend's or wife's close friends like you, you're in the clear. Well, anyway, one day I went to visit the wife and I saw something on the counter. The Staples Easy Button. Uh-oh... What should I do? What would you do? Now for those out of the loop, the Staples Easy Button is a big red button with the word EASY on it. When you press it some recorded voice says "That was easy!" Of course, I PRESSED IT. The wife looked at me with eyes that could kill. But, then, I deserved it. Four times in a row is a little annoying. It seems that everyone would come up to the counter and press the button - repeatedly. She didn't talk to me the rest of the night. The next day she worked, the Staples Easy Button ended up smashed on the floor. Timeflip a year later. She works at another theater (a respected historical theater) I go to visit her one day. I couldn't resist. I know, what i did was grounds for divorce, but, opportunity knocks once. My boss didn't want it. So i took it. And left it at the wife's job. The fate of that Easy Button is unknown. i'll keep you updated. Okay, before this edition ends, here's some pictures for you to look at. I love pictures.

Catch you on the flipside!

Next time: Family History!

Don't Fall Asleep At The Schaeffers

The time: 2:54am. The place: the Schaeffer bedroom. We are both sleeping quietly, peacefully unaware of the danger walking into the room. It jumps onto the bed, stirring me slowly from my slumber. Then I hear it..... psssssssss..... the smell hits me, forcing my eyes open. My wife wakes up laughing realizing what has happened. The rest of the night involves creatures walking on and over our heads. This story is a normal occurance in our house. The cause is more sinister than you expect. Nemesis. Enforcer. Krystal.

This is Enforcer. He's the BAD cat. The stinky cat. He thinks he's either a kitten or a dog. He is a touble maker. He is a "gassy" cat. The biggest thing is this, no matter what the wife(mommy in his eyes) is doing, he has to be right beside her. Working on bills and assorted paperwork, he's right there. Enforcer is guilty of walking on us while we sleep, he can wake us up to pet and play with him. The stuff he does makes you want to hug him to pieces or dropkick him into the next century. But, when you hear his whiny meow your heart just melts.

Nemesis is Enforcer's sister. She is a whiny little brat. she doesn't want to be held, but she LOVES the brush. You can't stop brushing her. She won't let you stop. Nemy is what the wife and I call a "Little Pretty Princess Prissy Pants". You feed her she cries. You eat and she starts the whine. She won't climb on me while I sleep (no, she lays at my head sometimes, getting fur in my mouth), but she will crawl on mommy. You know how cats kneed to make a comfortable spot to lay down on? Nemesis does this - ON MOMMY"S BACK! I mean, come on now, it's like a kitty massage parlor here! Maybe I'm just jealous. She does it to mommy but not me. Fuzzball.

Finally, there's Krystal. The baby. The runt. The former alley cat. The tormented little soul who doesn't seem to get any peace. What a crock. Krystal is no relation to Enforcer, even though they are almost the same shade of grey. She was a cat who came from a co-worker whose little girl turned out to be allergic to cats. I said "Shure! Hand 'er over!" BIG MISTAKE. Before she was "fixed" she would wake us up going (loudly, I might add) "Meow meow meow meow meow." Enforcer picks on her constantly and she only rests when he sleeps. Thank goodness for that. When he chases her, they ram through the house like madcats. All in all she's a pleasant kitten, but when mommy comes home, she's right there getting tripped over by the wife.

So if you take a nap at our house, don't say we didn't warn you about the three balls of fur. They most likely won't let you sleep. No wonder the wife and I sleep at work. Catch you on the flipside.

Next Time: Click! That Was Easy!