Friday, April 27, 2007

Mein Kampf (My Struggle)

Sorry about the delay. We've been so busy the wife is finally washing dishes. Don't worry, I get to put them away. The cats have been the same and causing all sorts of trouble.
Anyway, most history buffs know that "Mein Krampf" was written by that fiend Adoph Hitler. His "struggle" cost millions of people their lives and changed the world. This blog is NOT about him. It's about MY struggle: CARS.
I have gone through six vehicles since I've started driving in 1992. I'm now on number seven. You may think that's not a lot, but in my eyes it's too many. Automobiles do not like me. I probably spent over $10,000+ on repairs on used cars that are not worth it. I have bad luck when it comes to cars. And it all started with when I got my driver's license.
The Cavalier: This was Mom's car. The car I first practiced driving on. One day while driving over to a friend's house I took a corner a little bit too fast. Went into a ditch, hit a rock, flew up, and landed on the driver's side door. (I'll admit, I wish I had a video camera for that now, it looked like something out of Fear Factor) I walked away from the crash with a brush burn on my elbow because the window was down. By the way, Mom was NOT HAPPY.

The Cutlass #1: This car I think was a Cutlass. I'm not sure. See, about three to four weeks after I rolled the Cavalier, I did something worse. On July 4, 1993, I went to work a little earlier than I usually do. I didn't fully wake up and closed my eyes for a brief second. A brief second is all it took. When people tell you to wear your seatbelt do it. If I hadn't I wouldn't be here writing this. There would be a cross where the telephone was that I sheared off it's base.

The Le Mans: The Battle Beast. Out of all the cars I've gone through this one is my favorite. I would love to have this back and just fix it up. It was a rust green, rust brown color (not the normal way I describe it - hey this is a family blog) This car was a true rust bucket. The vinyl top was flaking off. Han Solo had The Millenium Falcon and I had The Battle Beast. And that's what it was. My brother and I took it on the local four lane highway just to see how fast it could go. He got it to 90 to 100 miles per hour and started to bring it down. Then the needle got stuck. I carried a bowling ball in the back seat (long story), and if it moved you felt all over. Tap the gas a little, and spin the tires. One winter's day coming home from work the water pump blew, sending the Battle Beast to the grave. I think I know which junkyard it's in. I want to see my first real baby.

The Cutlass #2: This car was okay. Nothing bad to say about it except it died in Tioga County, PA somewhere. My fault again.

The Thunderbird: The Battle Beast #2 - The Thunder Chicken! This was a cool car. To bad the transmission was starting to go bad. I do have one thing to say about it. If I get another Ford it would be an '85 to '87 Thunderbird.

The Celebrity: After about a year and a half of no cars (I walked a lot) I got hooked up with a Chevy Celebrity station wagon. I liked it. It was nice. It never passed inspection though. I called It the Shaggin Waggin. I sold it to my mom (This was eight or nine years since that first accident so she was talking to me again. ha ha, mother) and went a SPRAY PAINTED it blue. She doesn't have it any more.
The Jimmy: Claudia. If you name your vehicle give a female name. My '87 GMC Jimmy is named Claudia. Claudia has about $4000 worth of work. And I'm the second owner. (what can I say, I beat my cars. sad, but true) I love that thing though, or I would've gotten a new car. I want to keep her around just a little bit longer.
My struggle continues. With every day that passes I keep wondering, "Will she let me sit somewhere far from home. I hope not. And at least not into a telephone pole. Those thins are expensive. Catch you on the flipside.

Next Time: Nothing yet. Remember your Mother!

1 comment:

The Sarcasticynic said...

My cars are, in order, a '61 Beetle, a '74 Datsun B210, a '78 Jeep CJ7, an '84 Bronco II, an '88 Cougar, a '72 Datsun 240Z, a '93 LeBarron, and an '01 Camry. But this is over a thirty year period.