It's My Burfday.... LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

I hate birthdays. I really didn't before. They were a fun time of happiness and joy. I can remember my first birthday party - that I helped prepare. I turned ten. I remember inviting my friends from school, Joe, Jeff, and Ryan. We watched the original War Of The Worlds. I forgot what one of the guys got me, but i remember getting a Transformer (Shrapnel the Insecticon - the first transformer i ever got), and a stuffed Ewok from Star Wars. Fun times. Well, that all gone now, and birthdays are another excuse for people to drive me to the asylum. First, I hate the birthday song. It embarrasses the person who sings it and who it being sung to. More the latter. Contrary to popular belief, I don't like being made a spectical of in public places, unless I'm doing it myself. And the birthday song does that. It puts you on the spot people you've never met stare at you sizing you up, thinking, "oh, look at him, that poor fat OLD sucker! Ha, ha!" All eyes are on you, watching you from the first bar of that blankety-blank song to right when you leave or they leave. Next, surprise parties. Evening. You come home from work and you want to relax, quietly. Well, you walk in the door, kick off your shoes, SHOOT THE BUNNY REALLY LOUD and all your friends jump out saying "surprise" (at that moment they would be surprised.) You're red and of need of new pants and they are pretty much thinking the S.W.A.T. team just launched tear gas into the room. Parties are best when you know about them. That way you wont get caught in a compromising position. Finally, there is some things that are okay about birthdays... presents (hahaha, gimme gimme), cake (as long as it's not to sweet, I threw out a whole cake because it looked to sickingly sweet. I couldn't eat it.), and be able to do what you want. That means if you don't want a surprise party - no surprise party. If you don't want singing - no singing. People are gonna have to live with these ideas. Hey, if they want that kind of stuff on their birthdays, that's cool. I just had my birthday on Friday. I said REPEATEDLY (still love you wife) NO SINGING. Of course, while we sat, I could see that wait staff gathering ready to spring their trap. I got up and went to the bathroom. I didn't care. I didn't want singing and I'll stand by that. It's my burfday... LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! So thats this weeks installment. Of course, that little statement will get me into trouble, but that's normal. Remember, folks, this is MY OPINION, not my wife's. I may not like it, but if she wants sung to, well, I'm gonna have to do it. catch you on the flip side... Next Time: Do I Really Know What I'm Doing???